Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
