me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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