Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Randomize
