Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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