i was born a porn star she said
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm at about main and main street
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
