She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize