I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm at about main and main street
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
