Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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