imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
