We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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