I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
