I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
