i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize