He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
