This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
