i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
