This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
