good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
