I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
