p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
