You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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