Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
