just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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