Sry I called you an 8
You work out of a Hotel?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
