More tranny stories later!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
