someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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