Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
MIDGETS
????
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
