I want to have your abortion
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
