Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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