Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
