is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
