Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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