i think my tv is drunk
She said her name was "party"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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