Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize