Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
