Are we in a gay sports bar?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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