I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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