Someone shit on the floor
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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