Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
birth control should be required to get into college
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
