I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
