great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
