your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
