Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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