i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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