I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
