if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
