And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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