Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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