We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
