I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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