this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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