there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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