i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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