Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
That was before I lit my hair on fire
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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