Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
