Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
